Monday, May 21, 2007

Our Confessions

Each day, many of us go through different situations. Some view it good, some view it bad. Nevertheless, I believe the Heavenly Father sees it good. My life before and after knowing Jesus hasn't been constant through the past 11 years.

As I look back and forth, I realized that confessions are very important. Right now, I confess of my sins of pride and lust. Each day, I surrender my rights to Jesus. Pride, the most dangerous character/virtue to have, caused us to be 'blinded' everyday. I personally, feel it strongly each day and reminds myself of the cross. Putting that pride to the cross helps me focus on the cross rather than pride itself. As for lust, I flee from anything that can stumble my heart and eyes. I constantly ask for renewal of the mind each moment when I'm at home and outside.

Though many of us face similar issues or issues such as lying, etc, Jesus didn't condemn us. In fact, He said about confession and forgiveness. More than that, there is simply grace in our lives. Today, I asked Jesus to be my witness and I pray that my friends will be my witnesses as well, as I begin to move into areas of testing. I trust that the Lord is gonna do a mighty change in our lives.

This blog was created to allow all readers, christians or not, young and old, to know that we are merely sinners. Whether we lie, we steal or even think that we never sinned before, we are sinners. But fear not, Jesus did not come to condemn but to save us from the slavery of Sin.

I pray that as you read my confessions, forgive me and my past, for they are not of any effect of the future anymore and never was.

Be Blessed!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Personal God

I came across 4 very special verses in the Bible that expresses to me volumes of how personal God is to me. Generically it for everyone: me, my friends, strangers, and you! We are all the apple of His eye. So here goes:

Psalms 56:8 " You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? (NASB)

We wander so much. What does wander means? It could be a host of things like running away because of fear, shame, anguish, seeking the truth, seeking for answers. Our thoughts, our minds, our soul restless in wander. We are in pain, thus we cry for we are but - human.

How precious it is of God who takes account of our wanderings, not to use them agaisnt us but to show us that He knows our struggles, our hurts, our anguish that translates into tears sometimes seen by our closest friends but more often than not, unseen behind close doors and in security of the darkness at night.

He puts our tears in His bottle. How precious is that? Our anguish are for nothing, for it means something to Him. Added to that, He records them in His book. "Anna cried because she lost her job" "Justin cried for the friendships broken...." "James cried cos his favourite toy was stolen by bullies..." Simple, true and very revelant in daily events of life. He saves those tears, He writes the reasons in His book. Not to be legalistic but hey.... God shares in our joy too. Tears of joy are also included in this. He knows. He shares them all.

Isaiah 49: 16 "Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands. The walls you're rebuilding are never out of my sight." (MSG)

The first thing that comes to my mind is: TATOO! Tatoo is an art of engraving something permanent. With over a billion of people that had lived, and are living and are yet to be borned and lived - God must have pretty BIG HANDS. It's mind blowing to have the our names engraved on His hands. We are remembered. We are loved.

That is what tatoos in modern day context is all about. When a name is tatooed, we want to remember that person because we love that person and because it is out of such intimate and closeness of that relationship that a person would consider a tattoo. Now I'm not talking about art tatoos. Those are different. It is just art. I'm talking about those you see on the arms of men with a woman's name. That kind only thing is - God's engraving is much more personal and much more painful - on His palms.

Tell me who would tatoo on the palms? It's painful for the skin is too thin. Personally, I believe God through Jesus did just that - when He died on the cross as His hands were crucified. I bet as He yelled in immensed pain, He would have looked at His hands and remember - "I've written your names on the palms of my hands" He remembers why He is doing this for us - because of love.

"The walls you're rebuilding are never out of my sight." Personally this speaks to me off broken lives, broken dreams, broken hopes, broken anything. Our attempts as we rebuild our lives again from devastating circumstances can be rather trying and at times so difficult. Once again, He knows our toil, He knows our difficulty for He watches over us.

Psalms 139: 17 - 18 "Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them any more than I could count the sand of the sea." (MSG)

Humanely, I think it is possible to count our thoughts about our loved ones. Simply because our thoughts are limited. With God it is limitless UNLESS you can count the grains of the sand. It will be forever and precisely that is how Eternal God is. That is how ever present God is. His thoughts are with us. He is thinking of you at every hour, every minute, every second and even at this instance.

Here's something to think about:

Zephaniah 3: 17 "For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior.He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (NLT)

I mean what more can you ask from God?

  • He is a sentimentalist - He keeps your tears.
  • He is a historian - He records our effort, difficulties, our joys, our happiness
  • He is a romantic lover of our souls - He engraves our names
  • He is a dreamer - He thinks about you day and night 24/7
  • He is a musician - He serenades us with songs.

This is how personal and real my God is. You are precious in His heart.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Make Me Over

I was just looking thru the lyrics of Natalie Grant's album AWAKEN...even though I've an AS assignment due in 5 hours time. And I do not wish to presume anything...but just let the words speak.

MAKE ME OVER

I've been silent instead of speaking up
Gave my advice instead of giving love
I have been unfair, faithless and unkind
I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind
It's not what I meant to do
'Cause I wanna honor you

Make me over, make me new
Make me a mirror, a reflection of you
Take me all apart
Take me to your heart and pull me closer
Oh, Jesus, make me over

Take away the pride that whispers in the dark
Take the stone out of the middle of my heart
Hidden underneath my insecurities
Is the servant that you've destined me to be
But day after precious day
I Get In My Own Way....

I am only made of your imagining
I'm dust and clay on the wind
wash me in the river of your sacrifice
Till I'm Changed, Purified...

In each one of us, there is something that we need to life up to God...for Him to completely change us to what He has destined us to be...beyond our insecurities, pride and hurts. I'm just beginning to see how frail I am in God's eyes...seeing myself for who I am thru His eyes.

I'm not trying to make myself seem "holy" or anything. It is not my intention...and I know I'm still far from my destination. This is only one very very small step in that direction...and I know I'm gonna fall along the way but more importantly God already knows that...Doesn't matter how you start and what happens along the way but rather will you endure till the end? 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? May we run the race of endurance till the end; supporting one another when we fall, encouraging when we lag behind and running in unity.

Repentence of self-sufficiency

Dear Lord,
May I come before your throne EVERYDAY and humbly bow before the vastness of your majesty. Even being able to enter Your courts, Lord I pray that you strip away any tinge of self-sufficiency within me...may every moment remind me of my sufficiency in you Jesus alone...let like the tax collector and the prostitute. Who am I to say that I am better than them...for all have sinned and fallen short of yr glory...and my pride likewise is more offensive in your eyes than anything else.

O Jesus, may the cross remind me of the great price you paid in order that I may live and that it is my self-sufficiency that placed you on that cross the first place. Lord, break me beyond recognition so that it is no longer I that live but you Jesus in me...that I will not need to do anything out of my own effort but by your power...even in the normal, mundane, "non-spiritual" aspects of my daily life.

Help me be like the sinful tax collector that has to rely daily upon your grace than the self-sufficient pharisee that is satisfied with just relying on you only enough to become righteousness so that he can self-assure himself of his worth rather than relying on your worth.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things...so that no one may boast before him."
- 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

Make me nothing so that you can be everything in my life. Amen.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

The unveiling of His beautiful work in you and me

Hello! How's everyone doing? I'm kinda bogged down with my FYP, school and church stuff but thank God for giving me the strength and grace to carry on! Well, just wanna share something with you guys and gals coz i hope that it'll encourage yall :)

Remember this verse? Ecc 3: 11 "God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. "

Whenever I read this verse, I'm reminded of how so many times i just see only part of the full picture that God has in mind. And when i see a mess of colors all mixed up, God reminds me that my eyesight is bad and He is actually painting a very intricate and fine picture...and it is certainly very beautiful...

We may not understand why we have to go through certain things in life. We often wonder why God can't make us to be perfect Christians where we do everything perfectly, have wonderful experiances daily, walk in such strength and integrity, and sing and dance with absolute freedom. We forget that our lives are still being painted out by God. We forget that the full picture is super duper chunted...something beyond what we can imagine...and till that day, He will continue to work in us.

He says "My strength is made perfect in your weakness." And He says "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." The thing is that we can't make it without God, the One in whom we can draw strength from and the One who would make our lives beautiful in its time :)

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Darkness to Light, Prison to Palace

Have you ever been into a dark room? Being in a dark room reminds me of loneliness, scary and simply empty. While someone shared with me on one of the days a few weeks back, I was seeing this vision of me in a dark room. It wasn't anything scary. Coz I'm the 'star' that shines in the room.

Imagine lighting a match in the room. Or shining a torch in that room. The room will be filled with that light in a way of another. Isn't it? Where there is light, it brings freedom. Similarly, our 'prisons' can be that dark room, filling up with our hurts, pride and many things, including jealousy, etc.

How can we break from 'prison' and enter into the palace? Ask ourselves, our heart condition. Why are we feeling empty over and over again? It's pretty simple. Breaking the prison, we need to know who can free us from bondage and the same person who can revive us into freedom.

One thing I ask, is that as you read this, call upon the name of Jesus. Only in the name of Jesus, you will be saved. Set free from prison to palace, from death to life, from sin to sinless, from pride to humility, from temporary to eternity.

Be Blessed!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Initiative - Healing of Hurts, Wounds and Doubts

I came back with a heavy heart a few hours ago. Opened the door of my house and there I see a fierce look from my mum. I walked into my room and put down my stuff, wanting to bathe first but guess I went over to my little sister's room to have a chat with her.

Guess what? For one of the most memorable times, we started chatting. As we chat, more of Jesus came in me and I listened to her. As I listen to her, my heart melted. She made me understand the deepest part of her heart. What's the most amazing thing? I prayed for emptiness to come into her heart. And there she is, feeling empty. Nothing can fill her. She knows. That aside, besides the conflict she had with mum, I guess it's just a misunderstanding.

It was tough for her to understand from mum's view. But in the whole conversation, it was about Jesus. I prayed for her leg, her health and skin problem. Prayed for a while and hoping for a miracle. It may not come at once but I guess it will. Soon, it will. The healing took place for her hurts or rather wounds. Doubts are clearing up and I pray that one day, she will take the initiative to know Jesus.

After prayer, I ask if she would talk to mum and be open about what she needs to share to her. She did and now, everything is cleared. I wonder at times, even I, doubt the power of God. He made me and put me in this family for a purpose. I see it now and then. Especially, during this period of time. My hurts, deepest hurts were taken away, wounds healed and restored, doubts are clearing away each day. It takes only one thing..... it's initiative. I initiated and I see Jesus doing something in this family as I pray.

Nothing beats than the love of Jesus, the Most High King. Wonder if you can identify this issue in your family? Hope you can and allow Jesus to be part of the picture, solving your problems in a supernatural way.

Be Blessed!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Trust, Perspective & Reality

We live in a world full of mistrust, different perspective (positive/negative) and chose to avoid reality. Living on this Earth, how much do you trust people? What is the extent of Trust? Are we always living in denial? What's our perspective of our future? Is it good or bad?

All these questions came forth as I ask myself, my purpose of living. Since young, I was "Fatherless". My dad wasn't with me, my mum was working and always striving hard for this family, all for one purpose, to live happily as a family. Sometimes, we look back and wonder whether it is really worth it. What do I mean by "Fatherless"? I lived through most of my life with a dad who spent his life away from the present life. He was in prison while I needed that love so much.

I knew the Lord when I was 10. Followed Jesus when I was from 10 to 12 when I had Sunday school at Evangel Assembly of God (known as Evangel Family Church now). When I was 15, I went over to St Hilda's Church, baptized and thought I lived a proper life. I was changed but in the midst, I was mislead and I fell. Till last year, my life was still in sin, unrepentant, full of nonsense. I guess even in the beginning of this year, I was struggling. Now I'm more confident and trust my Lord and Saviour. His name is Jesus, my best friend.

My perspective changed. I was living a sinful, unrepentant life. I cheated many girls in my relationship life. I've hurt them in many ways. I've not been a good disciple of Jesus Christ! But Jesus has been with me, drawing me near to Him. At the start of this year, I fell to my knees, asking for a renewal, revival and restoration of my life. I dare to admit all these and more because I believe in Jesus. He doesn't condemn. His perspective is about forgiveness, love, mercy, hope, peace, joy and many more. Many of us, our perspective is about hate, merciless, hopeless and etc.

The Reality is that Jesus loves us. I testify that as I reflect upon my life. My life was rotten but He restored it. My life was full of sin but He cleanses it each day. It's been a daily affair and I hope that Jesus will keep dealing with my life and change my perspective. No one can change my life except Jesus. And I truly know that. Do you want to know Jesus? If you do, drop us a message on our tagboard and we'll get back to you.

Jesus loves you! You are His princes and princesses of God!

Be Blessed!

Love,
Kenny@

Saturday, January 27, 2007

FYP = Find Your Peace!

The fear of FYP (Final Year Project) was really strong during this midst of the semester, not just in Republic Poly but every Poly! One friend encouraged me about FYP. She said FYP = Find Your Peace! Indeed, I found my peace in Jesus.

What a awakening message! As I was motivated to find my peace, I found Jesus by my side, allowing Him to strengthen me. I remembered the very day that I was staying at SMU overnight. Yes, staying overnight at SMU! Just to complete my FYP. I never believe that I'll be awake and as weird as I can be, I created this blog as the Lord told me to. I really found my peace through my trials and FYP presentation and submission was over after 24th Jan.

Have you found your peace yet? If not, what are you waiting for? =)

Be Blessed!

Friday, January 26, 2007

How great is the burden Jesus chose to carry for us on the cross

Hearing people share about the burdens of their lives...and God placed a burden in my heart for them. Just as Kenny and I were praying in the car, the burden that was building in my heart was just so much that I just cried...It was such a gut-wrenching feeling that I knew it was the Holy Spirit grieving...

It brought to my mind the burdens that each and everyone of us carries, past hurts, regrets, current problems or situations and broken relationships. How deep and heavy those burdens are...and yet Jesus chose to carry all these heavy burdens for us on the cross...As the Spirit brought me back to the cross, I'm just deeply reminded of what Jesus did on the cross for me...He took all the burdens I couldn't bear...and He can do the same for you too. He is asking if you would just let go of your burdens and look to the cross of deliverance once again.

He is our Prince of Peace...where love, hope and peace abides.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

In the eyes of God

It was during the Youth Baptism service that I witnessed something really special. So special that I felt it in the most powerful way in my heart and I cried. I couldn't help it... I just cried. This can only be because of I felt God's love for another person and it is very much the same love that He has for everyone of us no matter what our condition is. No matter who we are, what we used to be, where we came from, how rich, poor, fat, thin, good looking or scared ugly. He loves us just the same. Words fail me to express how and what the love of God feels like. It must be experienced.

So this is what happened:
There was this one guy who was getting baptised and what's really special about him was that he is not just like anyone of us, blessed with the ability to be mobile by ourselves, or be able to speak with fluency. He needs to be aided by someone to stand and walk. He struggles to utter a sentence coherently. It takes great effort on his part to do something that we all can do with so much ease.
My heart leap with intense joy when he struggled on his own to respond to the pastor these words " I turn to Christ" What got me crying was when he with the help of his dad, walked all the way up and into the baptism pool to get baptised. It was awesome and I was somehow trying to contain that emotion cos I was wondering why on earth am I crying for?
It's only a few hours later as I begun thinking of it and still having the emotional manifestation, that I realised with a deep appreciation of how much God loves us and beams with so much pride when we take great effort in our frailness and weakness to honor Him the best way possible.

I am reminded that our lives are so intertwined with so much stuffs that at times, we become so dysfunctional and we can't express ourselves logically, rationally and coherently. There are times when we struggle to stand on own two feet, feeling immobilised. We are broken and are in so much need of Someone who can meet our every needs. I am encouraged to know that whatever broken stage we are in, we can with perserverance and with the help of others around us, we can be overcomers, we can be restored, we can be renewed and we can become new once again, all because God is for us. All because God loves us dearly.

Hebrews 12:1-3:
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Philippians 3:12-14 :
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

In The Beginning.....

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. - Genesis 1:1

When God created the heavens and the earth, did you ever wonder why? If not, how about when God created Humans? Even though God knew that we will fall..... Many of us live in denial each day throughout our lives, lying to ourselves that God doesn't exist. A few days ago, God inspired me to create this blog entitled: "In The World Of Sinners".

Yes! You and me, created by God, the Most High, fell into sin. All of us are sinners. Whether we make big or small mistake, whether we told a white or black lie, whether we murder or gossip, the matter of fact is, we have fallen short of the glory of God.

With this, let us ask questions to find out more about this God, this Jesus, my Best friend, companion and buddy. My challenge to you is to ask yourself, "Who Am I?"

Be Blessed!